I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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