There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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