I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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