First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I am available for nakedness
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
