Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
