You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
