fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
