what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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