should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
