STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
