It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
