her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
