office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
