i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
This house was built for laser tag.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
