I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
