Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
