do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
