I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
