What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
