i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize