I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
