afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
