We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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