hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
