Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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