You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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