hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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