I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
