glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
