Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
