Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
