At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize