I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
