hotel room ftw
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Randomize
