So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
