I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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