how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize