just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Randomize
