we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
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