my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
