'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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