My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
