the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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