Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
