bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
