You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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