just come out here and I will go home with you...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Even my vagina gasped.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
