Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
