That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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