Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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