Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
