I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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