I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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