He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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