just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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