Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
