Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
