real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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