He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize