Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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