I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
