Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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