think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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