420 ftw
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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