i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
